"A figure in a belted gown of white wool stepped suddenly out of the shadows at the right of the throne and strode down the steps to the child. His face was masked with white. He held a sword of polished steel five feet long. Without word or hesitation he swung the sword, held in both hands, up over the little girls neck."

This is followed only six paragraphs later by

"The three highest steps directly before the throne, above the step where she knelt, had never been climbed by mortal feet. They were so thick with dust that they looked like one slant of grey soil, the planes of the red-veined marble wholly hidden by the unstirred, untrodden siftings of how many years, how many centuries?

The man in the white robe just walked down these steps. 

I am not making fun of Ursula. As writers we all make these mistakes. Which is why we need to Edit, Edit, Edit. 

Everybody should have their manuscript read by a professional reader.

So you have a manuscript. What do you do with it now?

You have it Edited; .

Back                                                                                                         Next